Anger should be used like any other parenting tool, "only when its appropriate!"
Determine who owns the problem. If its the kids problem then it should always be met with empathy. Its thier mess.
As Parents, If our kids mistakes only hurt them and not us, there is no gain in responsibility if you shout at them, while they are working it out.
Only by commiserating with them can a gain in their responsibility be won.
When the kids do something that effects us directly--Don't return something of ours that they borrow, Leave their toys in the driveway--Then its's ok for a Parent to get a little bent.
They will learn that we are angry because their actions have effected us.
Get kids to listen
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