Effective way to use Enforceable Statements

Guidance to young children can be effective only when good communication exists between the parents and children. Good communication builds self esteem and mutual respect in the child.
One of the basic principles of having an effective communication is to desist from using unenforceable statements and using enforceable statements instead. An example of unenforceable statement would be “Don’t you shout at me “. An enforceable statement would, on the other hand could be “I am listening to what you are saying, so be calm.”
The child expects that you as a parent should be interested and involved in the child’s problems. You should avoid speaking on the phone when the child has something important to tell you. To embarrass a child in front of others is never good communication. If you have to instruct a child when others are present, use an enforceable statement. Using any language other than an enforceable statement would generate hostility in the child.
If any behavior or any incident has incurred your wrath, try to cool down first, talk to the child only later making an enforceable statement e.g. “A good child never talks or does this. Why should you then?”
We are often prone to talk in an adult language to a child and tend to preach and moralize. We say,”I know what is good for you “or “Don’t ask questions. Just do it.” These are not enforceable statements and keep the child wondering. Refrain from making statements like—“You know nothing, you are but a child.” for again these are not enforceable statements, which the child can appreciate and feel confident about.
Children look for positive attention. They need to feel loved and encouraged. If we use appreciative language, the child pays more attention to you and tries harder to make you happy. “I am proud of you”, “Very nice”, “Much better,” “You are doing better now-a-days “are some of the expressions of encouragement a child would like to hear.
Children often complain that their parents do not listen to them. It is necessary to be attentive when they talk. We should not keep watching T.V. or busy ourselves in some petty errands when they talk to us. Speak in a quiet voice as though you are talking to friends. Use enforceable statements to distinguish between right and wrong.